Relationship necessaries Love, so Mr. K did

Mr. K was just a memory in my life. I think he just made a goal who dated me. He was just a man I broke up when I scared to start a page which I begun a relationship with someone. And its really ended up after 2 days passed on by telephone and some freakin’ stories. He was a self centered man. With his stories, he just wanted to tell himself and never thought nor remembered mines. A relationship without status began. I just felt something ridiculous. Ok, basically I’m a kind girl who waiting for her prince riding a white horse. I tried to throw its type and accepted him just what he was. He accepted me of course but I just can’t. Too much I heard and too much opinions has been sending once while I began this relationship. They told this, and they told that. And they too much stressed me. I TRIED TO THROW IT AGAIN. I wanted to share it, but even my friends gave me feedback for this crazy thing they thought. So, I shared with him, its so hard to handle this alone. And here we go, I did a big mistake on this relationship with shared him what they told about “US”. He must have been breaking when I told him. But when I told him, I never feel that, I just felt proud because I’m so precious in other hands and they’re also wanting me too. Proudly I shared and broke him once. So on everyday since I knew many people didn’t want me to have a boyfriend. I think, I began frustrated and dizzy with this. So he did. I ended this and ARWS began.

The ending of January doesn’t necessary one month yeah to make this totally end! How this heart feeling so empty when he said, “I don’t love you like I did yesterday” by a short message service. A simple quote copied by a famous song by “My Chemical Romance – I don’t love you”. I was gonna be crazy if I have to stay along night at home. So I went to Dorothy and waited Jawa picked me up. Dorothy tried to tell Mr. K that I was in hers and pleased him to pick me out there (ok sorry, it was just me texted him not Dorothy exactly). I was hoping so much he wanted to pick me up, but Jawa did it. Even replied a SMS, he needed a long time to do. And I don’t know how I passed my empty heart empty night and empty for anything that day. I hate to be in a relationship!! It just made me so crazy and unconscious! Why my friend can be so normal to be stay together along day, month even years!? Uncontrollable me. Never in a relationship before maybe made me poor in some ways.

I opened my eyes and realized its February, I sang a song that just passed on my mind when I awake,

“Kasihku sampai disini
Kisah kita, jangan tangisi keadaannya,
Bukan karena kita berbeda.
Dengarkan,
Dengarkan lagu,
Lagu ini, melodi rintihan hati ini,
Kisah kita berakhir di Januari.”

What a weird song! It really matched on me, sh*t! I wanted something by him on this February T.T I wanted something that it could be really him, so when I missed him, he could be stay next to me always. Poor chimenk, its February, it should be you that gave him something that it could be really me! 3 years passed, twice broken and once spent in waiting. I don’t wanna stay like that or be in that position anymore. I DON’T! I PROMISE!!
This year, a dragon water as Chinese Year and Valentine were too pain to remember and too hurt to stay back. A great angpao still waiting me next day, month and year :)